


time+tragedy

by ludgerkresnik



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Corny, Gen, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slight Canon Divergence, This takes place way before Winter Soldier, introspective, or well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 16:16:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15247071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ludgerkresnik/pseuds/ludgerkresnik
Summary: Steve prefers the silence in his barely decorated apartment, he prefers it over the the yelling in his head. The only thing that provides him comfort is an old letter Bucky had once wrote him.





	time+tragedy

The music is set to a low hum, barely audible and Steve is okay with this. It’s more comforting than loud noises, even if he can hear the stomping of the children upstairs or the cars driving by in the streets. There’s still so much he needs to take in, there’s so much that has happened in what feels like such a short time, and he’s not sure how to handle this. In times of war, in times of tragedy, quick thinking is needed and processing needs to happen later. Perhaps this is the ‘later’ time, where he can finally just  _ think _ .

 

For awhile now, he’s had one goal in mind. Find his missing best friend, his gut instinct tells him that he’s still alive,  _ somewhere _ even if it’s no longer the 1930s. The connection they had was almost twin like, and they would always be able to tell what the other was thinking or up to at any given notice.

 

During the war, they had written each other letters as often as possible. Some of them, Steve could never send out for whatever reason, others were returned but the ones he got, he kept them close to his heart. He memorized every word, every splotch on the page and tried to recall his voice when he read those letters. It was hard to keep them together, however, as they moved around so, so much much. But he still held Bucky’s words close to his heart to keep his morale up.

 

After what had happened, the words and the voice were replaced with the image of Bucky’s face. Wide eyed, mouth agape, and the brave face that he had always put on, the cocky smile, was replaced with one of fear. A soldier must always be prepared to die in battle, but fear is such a human emotion, it’s uncontrollable. Even now, Steve has nightmares about it. Bucky yelling out jolts him awake at night, as though it’s in his room.

 

Paper crinkles in his hand, and he lifts it up, over his head and stares at it. Most of the words have faded out, but it’s definitely Bucky’s near illegible handwriting that only  _ he _ can read. Natasha had handed it to him sometime ago, with no explanation to how she got it or why, but at this point, Steve never asks because he never receives answers.

 

His eyes move down the crinkled, ripped at the edges paper. He stares at the three words at the end, reading them over and over again.

 

**I miss you.**

**-B.B.**

 

And that’s all that Steve needs to feel more at ease than he has in a long time.


End file.
